Unspoken Intentions

“We must be careful about what we pretend to be.”
Kurt Vonnegut

“Many people guard their language because they wish to conceal their thoughts.”
Edward Gibbon

“The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”
William James

“You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.”
Brené Brown

“The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.”
Mother Teresa

“Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions.”
Epictetus, The Enchiridion

say what you mean
 mean what you say
 susurrus Knave
 ruminate words
 Catiline’s sough
 seek what is true
 matter not issue
 veiled rima oris
 yet, remains still
 Lancelot’s curse

Life often pulls us in opposing directions. As Christians seeking authenticity and honoring God, we frequently waver between conflicting thoughts and intentions, saying one thing while feeling or wanting another, as our intentions diverge from our words. The cryptic poem above explores the complex relationship between words, meaning, truth, and communication, and wrestles with the way language can both reveal and conceal truth at the same time. Likewise, we often obscure our true motives under pleasantries and half-truths, intentionally or not, as various concealed issues like insecurity, pride, and fear distort the alignment between intentions and expressions.

The Heart of the Matter
Jesus taught that our words and actions flow from the heart’s abundance (Luke 6:45). When our hearts harbor mixed motives such as selfish ambition, insecurities, entitlement, and more, these underlying issues shape our expressions. We may even conceal hurtful motives with pleasant facades and righteous-sounding words. For instance, giving advice aims to help others grow, yet insecurity also seeks personal validation. From an insecure place, we may micromanage others’ to feel wise and needed, rather than empower their growth. Though the advice may sound helpful, it oversteps if our hidden motive is seeking glory. Like those we advise, we need growth too, as incorrect motives often lurk unseen. The unspoken craving to be loved and the desperate need to be needed reveals a hollow pursuit of validation, masking an inner void. As Christians, we know Christ offers transformation, renewing minds and hearts through the Holy Spirit to align us inside out. Exposing inner conflicts requires humble, honest reflection. As we walk with Jesus, He reveals and heals root causes for integrity’s sake, not just behavioral change. By inviting God to search our hearts (Psalm 139:23-24), we allow His sanctifying power to align our abundant hearts with outward expressions. In this way, we allow God to heal our deep pains and show us where selfish ambition takes root so we can bear Christlike love and integrity instead.

The Duality of Our Inner Struggle
Paul captured inner turmoil’s anguish, writing “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” (Romans 7:15, ESV). Though reborn in Christ, vestiges of our fallen nature remain, sharply contrasting the renewed spirit; a dichotomy breeding hesitation and duality in speech. Rather than risk transparency about our new selves, old instincts of self-protection and façade interfere and we shroud authentic thoughts and emotions. Andrew Murray captured this battle, writing “The tongue has the possibility of speaking words from a double heart, expressing thoughts that come from two sources.” Scripture strongly warns against deceitful, double- minded communication, equating it with spiritual defilement and pollution (Matthew 15:11, 18-20). As Jesus taught, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,” (Matthew 12:34b, ESV). Polluted words spread the heart’s hidden decay, straining relationships through broken trust and misunderstanding. James describes the unchecked tongue’s destructiveness as an uncontrolled fire (James 3:6-8) because spoken words carry immense power to build up or tear down (Proverbs 18:21). Without aligned expression and intention, speech wounds more than nurtures, and ambiguous talk hinders our authentic faith. To walk in wholeness and witness, we must wage war against inner division (2 Corinthians 10:3-5). Through the Spirit’s wisdom and power, we can overcome deceptive dualities and speak truth with bold transparency.

Bridging the Heart-Mouth Divide
Integrity requires identifying barriers to transparency. Scripture explains God originally designed people to be morally “upright” (Ecclesiastes 7:29) with aligned thoughts and words. Yet through sin’s distortion, we drift out of sync. Thankfully, under grace, Christ renews our capacity for unity when we entrust our minds and speech to Him by faith. In pursuing authentic living, we must also examine using Christian lingo or “Christianese,” terms that can unintentionally conceal feelings to avoid appearing flawed. For instance, saying “I am blessed!” when feeling stressed obscures needed transparency for genuine connections, failing to offer real empathy. While I am sure there are others, to my mind, five primary obstacles inhibit aligning intentions and expressions:

1. Fear of rejection guards transparency about needs, risking disapproval.
2. Lack of self-awareness blinds us to inner motives that are impossible to convey.
3. Insufficient faith in the Spirit’s empowerment keeps us relying on our own cleverness.

4. Pride or focus on self can distort our intentions and expressions, making them more about self- promotion.
5. Unresolved conflicts or bitterness can cloud our ability to interact authentically and with pure intentions.

Thankfully, Scripture provides keys to overcoming each hurdle. 1 Peter 3:14-15 assures if we courageously speak Spirit-guided truth despite disapproval, God remains present. God’s Word awakens self-understanding by piercing our innermost motives (Hebrews 4:12) as we open our hearts to its light. Childlike dependence on the Spirit’s wisdom allows aligning words with upright hearts (Luke 12:11- 12). Humility and selflessness can help align our words and intentions with a genuine concern for others (Philippians 2:3). Finally, the Bible highlights the importance of resolving conflicts and seeking reconciliation to ensure our communication is sincere. Matthew 5:23-24 (ESV), “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” As we grow in trusting God’s empowerment through His Word and Spirit, manifesting intentions authentically becomes possible.

Cultivating Consistency
As we grow in self-awareness of unexpressed motives driving our reactions, we can avoid unconsciously hiding intentions behind pleasantries. Instead, we cultivate consistency between our heart attitudes, and communication. James 1:22 reminds us, we must not only hear God’s Word but live it out. Yet we cannot manufacture integrity alone; we need help beyond ourselves. Accountability provides much-needed perspective, as trusted loved ones can help us identify areas needing growth when we discuss mixed motives. As Proverbs 27:17 (ESV) says, “As iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Feedback helps fine-tune our self-perception and character consistency. Through the Holy Spirit’s power, we also gain supernatural strength to align our thoughts, words, and actions with righteousness. As we abide in Christ, renewing our minds through Scripture and praying for alignment in our weak areas, the Spirit transforms us from hiding behind false appearances to bearing transparency. 2 Corinthians 3:18 promises, that beholding Jesus’ glory transforms us to reflect Christ through righteous integrity. Cultivating humility debunks perceived needs to hide, as pride refuses accurate exposure yet humility helps us become authentic before God. Jesus modeled transparently living out his mission even to death out of humility. Just as Jesus trusted the Father, we live transparently by entrusting ourselves to God in humility, no longer needing false appearances. God’s Word elevates our standard of speech to utmost integrity rather than hiding intentions behind oaths or elaborate professions. Letting our “yes” mean “yes” and “no” mean “no” honors God best with straightforward clarity (Exodus 20:7, Leviticus 19:12, Matthew 5:33-37). Scripture cautions against careless chatter that often sows confusion, advising instead to temper words by seeking Godly wisdom for speech that clarifies rather than obscures intention (Proverbs 10:19, James 3:2-6). As we diligently apply these principles, aligning words and hearts becomes more attainable. “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer,” (Psalm 19:14, ESV).

The Rewards of Harmonious Alignment
When we pursue synchronizing what we say and feel, Scripture shows this heart-mouth alignment nurtures profound soul transformation. 1 John 3:18 says genuine love flows from matching outward talk to inward conviction and action. Transparent communication also tunes our spiritual ears, drawing us closer to heavenly wisdom. Sincerity breeds openness to God’s voice, and as we shed false motives, we can finally hear the Father coaxing us down paths of righteousness. Each small effort bridging the heart-word gap advances us to brighter days from the gloom. Integrity cultivates soil for God’s love to take root and bloom. No longer wasted on hypocrisy’s thorns, grace now bears ripening fruit. As our whole being harmonizes, Scripture’s promises are unveiled.

Embracing the Unity of Words and Hearts
As efforts to unify tongues and hearts bear fruit, Scripture unveils glorious benefits. Soul-level transformation surpasses the interpersonal realm. Colossians 3:9-10 exhorts believers to strip away the old deceptive self as we “put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its Creator” (ESV). Where Spirit empowers words accurately conveying Christ-like hearts, renewal emerges. This renewal breeds boldness and blessing. Isaiah 50:4 (ESV) declares, “The Lord God has given me the tongue of those who are taught, that I may know how to sustain with a word him who is weary. Morning by morning he awakens; he awakens my ear to hear as those who are taught.” As our speech aligns with His enabling power, we strengthen and restore others through Spirit-led communication. Words flowing from upright hearts carry God’s breath to revive weary souls. Still, perfect integrity between intentions and expressions remains elusive on this side of eternity. But Scripture prompts us onward through Paul’s example in Philippians 3:12. Though not attaining flawless Christ-likeness, we “press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own” (ESV). God accepts sincere effort despite imperfect results. As hearts become anchored in Scripture’s wisdom, words transform increasingly into sanctified speech bringing salt and light (Colossians 4:6). While the perfect bond between intentions and words awaits heaven, we walk confidently on the pathway of progress led by the Word Made Flesh (John 1:14).

Now the choice is yours, dear reader. Will you heed this call to integrity and transparency? The path ahead may not be easy, but I believe you have the strength and wisdom to walk it. I challenge you to examine your own heart, to identify the barriers that keep your words and intentions misaligned. What fears, insecurities, or pride are holding you back from speaking the full truth? Take courage, for the Spirit empowers you to overcome. Commit today to letting your “yes” mean “yes” and your “no” mean “no.” Seek accountability from trusted believers who can help refine your self-awareness. Abide in Christ, allowing His transforming power to make your words and deeds increasingly one. The rewards of harmonious alignment are waiting, deeper relationships, clearer discernment, and the profound joy of walking in sync with God’s will. So I encourage you, do not delay. Embrace the unity of words and hearts, and watch as your life becomes a fragrant offering to the Lord. The journey begins now. Will you join me?